I hate vacations

Dexter told Delilah that he thinks vacations are overrated. Every year Mom and Dad go away on a long vacation leaving him and Delilah at home with Granny.

Dexter explained that Granny is fantastic and fills up the dry food bowl twice as full as normal and she gives out treats like they grow on trees, but it just isn't the same. He always starts to feel a bit blah while they are away.

Delilah said she understands. She knows Granny is great, but she is still a bit fearful when people come into the house so she has to entice Granny upstairs to get her cuddles.

Dexter suggests that if they smoother Mom and Dad with affection all year, perhaps they won't take a vacation next summer.

Delilah is skeptical, but is willing to give it a try.

I've never seen one so small!

Dexter told Delilah he was perplexed when that strange woman visited and brought a black furry creature into the house. At first it was in a container and it was hard to see what it was. Then it was let out and kept getting up close examining his belly.

Dexter told Delilah he was just curious and wanted to touch the creature. He didn't mean to knock him over.

Turns out this creature was actually a baby kitten who was hungry and thought he could feed it. Eventually the woman came back and gave the tiny kitten his lunch.

Dexter told Delilah she really must stop running away all the time. She misses all the interesting things that happen when strangers come over.

Dad needs a Shampoo

Dexter told Delilah that Dad's hair gets really salty when he sweats and it means that he often is in need of a quick shampoo. Dexter likes to be helpful so while Dad watches TV or reads, Dexter gives him a quick shampoo with some vigorous exfoliation.

I warned you about catnip

Dexter told Delilah that catnip can be dangerous. If someone gives you something with catnip on it, don't be surprised when you start leaping in the air and doing other embarrassing acts. As you get older you will be able to handle it better, but youngsters always go a bit wild.

The best part of a birthday is the wrapping paper

Dexter told Delilah that the best part of birthday presents is not what is inside, but what is outside. Bows and crumpled papers are so much fun. You can chew, kick, chase and attach the paper and the bows. You must not play with ribbons however, They can be really dangerous. Cameras are also dangerous because while you are blissed out playing, someone may snap your picture and post it on the internet, so don't get carried away.

Sundays are for cat naps

Dexter told Delilah that Sundays are for cat naps. Sunday is perfect because Dad will also be napping and he is a really comfortable pillow for a cat nap.

It is easy to do. First you make Dad move over and make some room for you. Then you have to lick his hand to get it clean enough to rest your chin on. Lastly, just snuggle down good and close your eyes.

Perhaps I should try the catwalk

Dexter told Delilah that Mom has a new camera and he is enjoying being her model. In fact, modeling is so much fun (and so easy) that he thinks perhaps he will get a job modeling on the catwalk.

Delilah pointed out that catwalk models have to wear skimpy dresses and outrageous outfits.

Dexter insisted he wouldn't tolerate wearing any dresses or clothes, for that matter.

Delilah said that if he wants to be a nude model, it would be easier. All he has to do is sit very still and look off into the distance.

Dexter thought that was a great idea!

I love my Granny

Dexter told Delilah that today that she shouldn't hide when Granny comes to visit. "Granny is wonderful. She loves to pet me and cuddle with me. She will baby me as much as I want!"

Delilah remained unconvinced and hidden under the bed during the whole visit. She didn't care if it was Mothers day or not. She was not about to be tricked into visiting with anyone other than her Mom and Dad.

"Oh Well" said Dexter as he cuddled with Granny, "I guess that means more cuddles for me."

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You can lean on me anytime

Dexter told Delilah that that she can lean on him anytime. He will always be there for her. Delilah took him literally and decided to use him as a pillow in front of the fire.

Dexter thought it was funny that she joined him in front of the fire and propped her weary back paws on his ample tummy, but he didn't mind. It was a cozy way to spend a rainy, chilly Sunday.

I need a cat nap

Dexter told Delilah that she has worn him out. She spent all morning chasing him and enticing him to chase her and he is exhausted. "Wake me when it's time for lunch." he asked. Delilah wasn't happy. With Dexter asleep, she has nothing to do except take a cat nap too. It is a tough life being a cat.

My sister is a centerfold! Oh My!

Dexter told Delilah that he is appalled! He can't believe she posed for this centerfold. Delilah just laughed and told him, it wasn't a centerfold she was posing for. She was just doing her happy dance because the visitors are gone and she can relax and be herself once more.

Chillin' with cousin Josh

Dexter told Delilah that she should stop being afraid of her two visiting cousins from England. Just because there are two visitors in the house, doesn't mean she has to run and hide everytime they enter the room. In fact, Dexter told her that he doesn't even mind sharing his chair with Josh and taking a short cat nap with him.

Delilah still is not convinced. She thinks it is safest to stay well out of reach of these two visitors except at mealtimes.

Ken Ken Puzzles are Frustrating

Dexter told Delilah that Daddy has started doing Ken Ken number puzzles and that Daddy said they were too easy. So Dexter thought he'd give them a go, but he found them so frustrating he just wanted to eat the book instead.

Delilah said she isn't interested in eating books. She prefers magazines. So much tastier.

I'm three years old today! How old are you?

Dexter told Delilah "Today is my birthday!" He is so happy and excited. Mommy gave him his favorite fish dish for breakfast too.
Delilah was delighted for him and spent the whole day sitting with him on the special chair by the window where they did some bird watching. She even gave him some special birthday kisses.

Delilah was also astonished to find out his is only 3 years old - he seems SOOO big for only 3.

It's Mewvie Time

Dexter told Delilah to hurry up because the Mewvie has already started. Today's episode is The Birds and it is his favorite.

Delilah was enthralled. It was the first time she'd seen any Mewvie and it looks so lifelike on the big screen TV.

They both agreed those birds look good enough to eat!

Playtime is exhausting - yawn

Dexter told Delilah that playtime justs exhausts him and before she could reply, his head dropped onto the table and he was fast asleep.

Oh my goodness what are you doing?

Dexter told Delilah he could not believe his eyes when he discovered her in the kitchen sink. He asked her if she knew how angry Mommy will be if she discovers her there? And more importantly, he would also be in deep doo doo because Mommy will know that Delilah didn't get the idea to jump on the counter by herself.

Dexter reprimanded Delilah by telling her not to do as he does, but do do as he says. But before he could finish they were interrupted when Mommy arrived with her camera.

"Scat Delilah" he shouted before leaping to the floor and racing to the other room.

I love my sheep

Dexter told Delilah that his favorite toy is one of Mommy's sheep from her collection. He says he just loved to hug, kick and chew on it. It has a motor so it squirms and Baahs which makes it feel like a real sheep.

I need to lose a few pounds

Dexter told Delilah that the holidays were not good for his waistline and his new year's resolution is to lose a few pounds. Delilah asked how he was doing it because he seems to eat just as much as before.

Dexter told her he has started an exercise program. It is a form of Yoga that involves lots of stretching. Delilah isn't convinced, but agreed to try it with him.

Careful Delilah - you're gonna fall

Dexter told Delilah that her habit of sleeping while dangling off the top of the scratching post is dangerous. He just doesn't understand why with all that room on top, she persists in sleeping on the edge with half of her body hanging off the side.

Delilah just winked at him and said she can sleep any way that she likes!

Want to take a sleigh ride?

Dexter told Delilah that he discovered a sleigh and he wants to go for a ride. It just appeared one day when Mom was decorating for Christmas. He climbed in and invited Delilah to join him, but she said there wasn't enough room. She decided just to watch, but even though she watched for awhile, Dexter never got off the ground.

I love you little sister

Dexter told Delilah that she was the best Christmas gift ever. He's really glad she is his little sister and he has lots of fun playing with her.

Delilah told Dexter she is also so glad that she found this house to live in. Last Christmas she was shivering out in the cold with no home to go to. Now she lives is this wonderful place with a Mom and Dad and Dexter who is the best big brother a girl could ever have.

After that they sat together gazing out the window and contemplating.

I believe - do you?

Dexter told Delilah that he's very excited! Santa Claus is coming next week and he just can't wait.

Delilah says she has never heard of Santa Claus, but if he is coming into the house, she wants nothing to do with him. She plans on hiding in the basement or under the bed.

Play like there is no tomorrow

Dexter told Delilah that she should give it her all when she plays with her toys. She should play like there is no tomorrow. He tries to follow this advice every day. He admits it can be quite exhausting, but that is the whole point. It lets him get so blissed out he just collapses at the end of his playtime.

Delilah watched carefully as Dexter demonstrated, but she just can't seem to let down her fur the way that Dexter does. She knows that camera is always nearby and might catch her in an undignified position.

Santa came early

Dexter told Delilah that he's been in kitty heaven all week with the new toy that Santa brought last weekend. He delivered it a whole month early, but who cares. It is fantastic!

Delilah agreed with Dexter as she reached out a paw and swatted at him from her tubular hiding place. Dexter leapt to the tippy top and defended himself from above until he noticed the feathers dangling in the tube. Distracted he squeezed his big body into the tube forcing Delilah to find an new perch.

She found pleasure wriggling through the small spaces near the bottom like a slithering snake.

Finally after 5 minutes of exhausting fun, they both fell asleep, each one in their favorite spot on the new toy.

Would you like a massage?

Dexter told Delilah to sit in front of the fire and he'd give her a nice head massage. He assured her it would be very relaxing and she would enjoy it.

Delilah was hesitant as she is with every new experience, but she did as he asked and Dexter set to work giving her a vigorous tongue massage. And he had told the truth. After a couple of minutes, Delilah was catatonic and completely blissed out.

I don't care if I don't have a costume; I'm trick or treating!

Dexter told Delilah that he wanted to trick or treat too, but Mommy wouldn't let him go outside. So Dexter decided that he would help himself to some Milk Duds when Mommy wasn't watching.

Delilah asked if they tasted good because they don't look that good.

Dexter told her he never found out because Mommy took them away and ate them. She only gave me the empty box. "I chewed the box and it tasted good" he said.

I can touch my nose with my tongue

Dexter told Delilah that he can touch his nose with his tongue and he doesn't think she can do it
Delilah replied "I can too. See!"
"Copy cat" accused Dexter, flicking his tail

I love my creature comforts

Dexter told Delilah that he is so happy that the colder weather has arrived. This means he can now lounge by the fire and enjoy a lengthy cat nap his bed. He invited Delilah to join him, but she couldn't find room.

Dexter told Delilah that he needs to do lots of sleeping today because tonight is a busy night for him. It's Halloween and he loves running to the front door every time the door bell rings to check out the kids in their costumes. Delilah, shocked, announced that she will be spending tonight hiding in the basement!

I just couldn't resist

Dexter told Delilah that he just couldn't resist jumping onto the countertop to watch an especially interesting bird, but he also cautioned her that she should not do as he does. It was an extremely risky thing to do because he has been told over and over again NOT to climb on the counters. He admits he had a moment of weakness this morning because this amazing bird was flying around teasing and tempting him. What is a cat supposed to do in the face of so much temptation.

Delilah listened and heeded his advice, but to her it is much easier. She isn't big enough to jump on the counters no matter how many tempting treats are on offer - yet!

Keep your tootsies soft and pink

Dexter told Delilah that the bottoms of your paws can get really gnarly if you don't take care of them. He recommends that Delilah take care to keep them soft and shiny pink by using her sandpaper-like tongue to massage her toes every day. Then he had a better idea. He suggested that Delilah take care of his toes and he would take care of hers. That way they both get a bit of pampering.

Delilah agreed even though her feet are so much smaller and less work than Dexter's are. She knows she needs to keep her paws soft because she gives Mommy a massage every morning before breakfast and she knows Mommy likes it best when the paws are soft.

You missed a bit on the right

Dexter told Delilah that she is doing a good job washing his back, but that she missed a bit on the right. He also told her he really appreciates her help because his big belly makes it a big hard to reach back there himself.

Delilah said it was no problem. She actually enjoys doing it and she likes it when he washes her face in return. His sandpaper tongue is better than any exfoliation product in the stores.

My favorite flavor is "feather"

Dexter told Delilah that the dinner they ate tonight was boring. Mom served up Salmon for the second time this week and he just isn't happy about it. Delilah said she didn't mind Salmon, but Dexter told her she hasn't lived any of her 9 lives yet if she hasn't tasted feather. "I could lick it all day" he told her as he closed his eyes and remembered his last encounter with this delectable treat.

I think your nails need trimming

"Yowsa" said Dexter to Delilah while they were wrestling on the floor as she accidentally scratched him with her claws. He told her she needs a trim because her claws are like razors. Delilah was delighted when he offered to bring the nail scissors to her.

Dexter told Delilah that she must remember to look after the small details. It is fine to take several baths a day and have a think and shiny coat, but if she doesn't keep her claws and whiskers under control she will look like a catastrophe in fur.

Leave some for me please

Dexter told Delilah that the feeder opening is just not built for two to eat from at the same time and she must wait for her turn. Delilah had hoped that they could alternate bites, but Dexter impatiently told her that he has seniority and gets to eat first.

Delilah was concerned that Dexter was going to eat the lion's share and not leave any for her, so she stood guard on top of the feeder imploring him to save some for her.

Dexter finally told her that he was full and she could eat now. Delilah was relieved to see there was some left afterall.

I think I want to be a hairdresser

Dexter told Delilah that he loves combing Mommy's hair for her. He sometimes even gives her a scalp massage and she really likes it. He is thinking he might like to be a hairdresser.
The only problem is that giving the shampoo with his tongue is a bit time consuming and it gives him some killer hairballs later.

He told Delilah that she might like to get in on the act too. Since she likes to bite toes, she could do the pedicures.

Keep your mouth clean

Dexter told Delilah that it is very important that she keep her mouth clean. She also needs to take care of her teeth by chewing on things to remove that horrible plaque build-up. He warned her that if she doesn't follow his example, she could end up at the Vet's office for a cleaning.

A dental cleaning is terrible. He hasn't had one himself, but when he was in the pound before he was adopted, one of the other cats gave him this same advice. His experience had been so bad, that when he woke up, one of his fangs was missing.

Then Dexter showed Delilah his sparkling white teeth and his long, healthy-pink tongue. He encouraged her to follow his lead and keep her mouth clean.

Don't bother me - I'm blissed out

Dexter told Delilah that he loves the pillow that Mom's friend Regina sent last year. It is so comfy to sit on that he always get super relaxed and falls asleep. He just can't help it. One minute he is resting demurely, pawed all tucked in and the next minute he is flat on his back and all stretched out and practically "cat-atonic".

Dexter told Delilah that she should remember that this pillow is his. She needs to find her own comfy accessory. Delilah told Dexter not to worry. She already has found her own. In her case it is the small rug by the back door that does it for her.

Want to hear a cat joke?

Dexter told Delilah that he had just heard a good cat joke and asked if she wanted to hear it. She did.

He said: "What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

Delilah didn't know what the difference is.

"One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause."

Delilah started laughing hysterically (as you can see in the photo), but Dexter wasn't fooled.

"It wasn't THAT" funny he said looking at her suspiciously.

"Oh" she said. "I didn't know what a comma was so I didn't understand the joke."

"Kittens" said Dexter in disgust as he sauntered out of the room with his tail swishing.

Is that a Cat tale?

Dexter told Delilah he can't believe what she just told him is true. Dexter had asked Delilah to get Mom and Dad to give them some kitty treats. Delilah always does what Dexter asks her to do, so she went work. She had to snuggle up and act cute for a long time. In the end what she discovered and what Dexter cannot believe is that there are NO treats! They have run out.

"Cosmic Catnip" exclaimed Dexter when he heard the news. His eyes turned yellow and glowed. This is terrible. "We must do something about this terrible state of affairs." So he and Delilah are deliberating a solution at this very moment.

Mommy and Daddy are Home! Meow!

Dexter told Delilah that Mommy and Daddy are home! Two weeks seemed like a long time, but wonderful Granny came everyday to play with us and helped the time go by faster.

Dexter told Delilah that it wasn't nice to give Mommy the cold shoulder when she got back. He was just so relieved that they came back, that he showered them with attention right away. Delilah finally took Dexter's advice after 4 hours and she got a bit carried away. She woke Mommy up at 3am giving her kisses and purring.

Dexter told Delilah "Let's just hope they never go away again!" Meow!